knitting frenzy

Hello. I am happy to be visiting here again. Over the past month I've thrown myself headlong into knitting, spending any free moments when I'm not caring for my boy, working, or keeping the house together with needles in my hands.

In truth, it has been frenzied, knit-like-the-wind knitting. I have been staying up too late and falling into bed only when my fingers can't knit another stitch. I have been knitting because I have to. I have to make something. I need the mindlessness of blindly following a pattern, even if it means making mittens that are two inches too big for my boy's hands. I need the control of deciding to alter a pattern when it isn't working for me, like the "Easygoing" socks that somehow stumped me from the get-go. It is not a hard pattern. I was just having a hard time. So I changed the stitch count and eliminated one of cables (one of two, mind you--somehow that second one pushed me over the edge), and now it works for me.

My knitting frenzy didn't come out of nowhere. I had a miscarriage last month. I just wanted to mention it here because so many of you offered support after my last post and because I strive to be authentic and open in my life. I thought about writing more about the miscarriage here, but for now I don't plan to. I am comfortable talking about it on an individual basis, but I don't want to put it out into the vast unknown of the Internet.

But know that I am okay. I am almost to a place of relaxed knitting. I can feel my mind and my fingers slowing their pace, forming stitches for enjoyment once again. It's a good sign.