I've always loved wishing--throwing a penny in a fountain, finding an eyelash, blowing out birthday candles. I'm a daydreamer, and I revel in the hope of having a wish come true. Until now I've held tight to the superstition that wishes have to remain a secret. If you tell someone your dream it won't come true, right?
Wishing has been on my mind because today I'm adding another year to my age. Twenty-seven. Suddenly (to me) my age sounds so...(sigh) adult. It sounds like I should have my act together a little, like I should have some sort of plan for my life. I've always had a plan before. Get the heck out of high school, finish college, teach in Japan, get married, go to grad school. I'm trying to get a new plan. I'm trying to figure out how to turn all of the little things I do every day into a livelihood.
The things I love doing are writing and crafting, especially crocheting. My stomach did nervous/excited flip flops when I posted my first crochet pattern the other day. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the pattern on Ravelry with my name listed as “designer.” Me?!? One pattern doesn't make a designer any more than one step makes a journey, but it's a start.
And so today I'm vowing to say my wishes out loud. Telling people my dream is scary! I've been so afraid of what other people will think of me. Crochet designer? That's impossible, strange, or just plain silly. But saying it out loud, even if people judge, makes the dream seem a little closer. Somehow the voiced words make it more real. I've realized that blowing out birthday candles, no matter how magical, does not hold the power to give me the life I want. It will take my words, my efforts, and my determination to live a life that I love. Today I give you the very first step, my words.
My wish: To be a crochet designer, have a family, make a home, grow a garden, craft a life.
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Do you have a dream you've kept silent, locked up tight inside? If you feel bold enough, I'd love to hear it.