waiting no more

We welcomed our sweet baby boy at the beginning of September. We are all happy and healthy and slowly adjusting to life as a family of four.

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the wait of the world

I am still here, still waiting on a baby. I've tried coaxing and I've tried demanding, but so far he seems pretty content in there.

Thank goodness I finished all the baby knits I had on the needles because in the last week I've developed pregnancy-related carpal tunnel syndrome. It's driving me crazy not to be able to knit. What do people do? My hands feel unnaturally still.

I will keep this brief because computer use doesn't help my hands and wrists any, but I just wanted to stop in and show some finished knits that I hope will be wardrobe staples for our new guy this winter.

The Gramps cardigan is one of my favorite patterns. This blue one is the second I've made, and I have a toddler-sized one on the needles right now to finish when I can knit again. The shawl collar and tiny pockets make me smile every time. I found some vintage buttons in my stash that were the perfect color. I can't wait to see my boy cuddled up in his squishy Barley hat and old man pants, too!

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If you have any ideas of how to make this waiting game go faster, I'm all ears! Knitting definitely helped me stay calm and pass the time, so now I'm at a loss for what to do.

so good

So, finally an explanation for the quiet around here.

We are counting down the weeks on a single hand until a new little someone joins our family.

I can't believe he'll be here so soon, but the baby paraphernalia scattered around the house and a tiny foot kicking my ribs tell me otherwise.

My nesting has taken the form of obsessive knitting, so I have a stack of baby sweaters to show you. Of course I couldn't resist making some matchy-matchy ones for my toddler and baby.

Be back soon.

In the meantime, you can find me on Instagram.

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Sweaters pictured are the Livingston pattern (little blue birds and little yellow birds).

Hats are the Barley pattern.

mothering

It feels strange to be back in this space after so much time away. February passed in a fog of cabin fever; we were cooped up on bitterly cold days and were more than ready when the last snow of winter melted.

Now my boy and I are wholeheartedly embracing spring. He begs to eat every meal outside, even when we have to bundle up in coats and hats. We water our pea plants and check to see how much the tulips and daffodils have grown. It's easy to mark their daily progress and see where rabbits have taken a nibble or a bite here and there. I'm trying my hardest not to begrudge those rabbits their first taste of spring.

I planted those bulbs in the aftermath of my miscarriage last fall, orderly rows of tiny white daffodils, tall yellow ones, and tulips in white, yellow, and pink. I needed something to hope for, and so I buried those bulbs like promises to myself that come spring things would be better. All winter long they slumbered in the frozen soil, and I must admit that on more than one occasion I doubted they would sprout.

But they have!

I sometimes feel silly at how much delight I take in our daily ritual of checking on the sprouts, but I do delight in it nonetheless. My son and I share in the joy of these growing things. It's not a new baby, but it's new life, and I'll take hope where I can find it.

home and hearth

 

Indeed, things are beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. We've had cold, snowy days and cozy nights by the fire. We were happy to have crisp white snow stick around for a bit last week. Snow usually melts away quickly here, except for the dirty gray piles that hang around parking lots for ages. 

The tree is up, most presents have been bought, and I have been knitting on one last gift at bedtime. I've almost finished the knitting part, and then I'm thinking of cross stitching a design on it. I've never tried that before, so I'm excited to see how it works out.

Can you see what a difference a month makes in my little guy? The top photo was taken last month, and the bottom photo is from this month. He's eight and a half months old already! He loves looking at (and touching) the lights on the Christmas tree and climbing on top of the wrapped presents. 

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I hope you all are staying snug and happy these days. Good luck to all of you still working on handmade gifts. We're down to the wire!

fall days

I've been trying to soak up October's sunny days and get outside on the cold ones too. Jude and I bundle up and walk until my feet get tired. We walk all around, new ways each time. He usually falls asleep eventually but never fails to wake up as soon as we're back home. 

He's crawling backward these days and pulling up in his crib and on the furniture. He looks so happy every time I find him standing up in his crib. It must feel amazing to go from being able to only sit or lie down to suddenly being able to stand upright. What a great new view, right? 

We've ventured to a couple fall festivals too. Jude rolled around in a pile of pumpkins and ate some Swiss chard and cilantro that he swiped from a garden. He's got fast little hands that dart to his mouth like a flash when he finds something he likes. 

 I hope you're finding things you like these days. As for me, I'm knitting away in my spare minutes and drinking hot chocolate now that we've got some cool weather. I'm looking forward to making Maya's apple cake (a fall tradition now) and something pumpkin. If you've got any favorite pumpkin recipes, send them my way. 

baby antlers and booties

Finally, my favorite month has begun. Oh, October. The changes in light, the smell of woodsmoke lingering in the air, the chill creeping in. The reds, russets, rusts, and golds clinging to the trees, swirling down in gusts of wind, and waiting for footfall to crunch through.

Jude won't eat his cereal, but he'll eat as many leaves as he can get his hands on. When we sit outside together I'll often find his fingers wrapped around a leaf. He tastes each leaf thoughtfully and goes back for more. I keep fishing stems and other leaf litter out of his mouth. He also plucks purple mums from my pots, and we sprinkle their petals like confetti on the porch steps. We watch the birds flying south. They make a ruckus in the trees and sky that he sometimes imitates.

The Baby Antler cardigan and booties are to keep him warm on our daily outings. He's so snuggly wrapped in all that wool!

babies love hats

Remember this old-fashioned baby hat? Baby loves it. Haha.

Ravelry notes here.

rolling stone

 

This boy keeps me busy. He started rolling over a couple weeks ago and now likes to roll back and forth. He rolled across an entire room yesterday. And he's found his feet. What fun! 

He makes the funniest throaty squeals and yelps, but they are the sweetest sounds to this mama's ears.

He'll be five months old tomorrow. They've been the longest and fastest and fullest five months of my life. 

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The flannel quilt was handmade by a friend of the family. It's really soft and big enough for me to keep warm under too.

woodland quilt (and a sweater in july)

{baby surprise jacket}

{woodland quilt}

{kick, kick}

Whew. My baby can't even crawl yet, and I'm already worn out. He seems to become more active every day. Suddenly he's splashing in the tub, blowing raspberries, and grabbing everything he can. How does he learn this stuff overnight? My days of taking photos of him laying still are limited, so I better show you this quilt while I can.

My mom and I made this quilt together when I was pregnant. We made a practice quilt first, then dived right into this Timber and Leaf fabric. I love the modern woodsy vibe and the cute animals (the deer are my favorite). We're both new at quilt-making, so it was fun to learn together on this simple patchwork. I did the cutting and arranging, and Mom did all of the sewing on this one. We used five-inch squares, and the finished quilt is approximately 36 by 45 inches. We've been using the quilt as a play mat for now, but I'm sure when he's older he'll be snuggling under this mama- and Gigi-made quilt, finding bears, foxes, birds, and deer before he falls asleep.

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And yes, it is much too hot and humid in Kentucky to actually wear sweaters and booties at this time of year, but I couldn't resist trying these on. They fit (darn!). I made the Baby Surprise Jacket as part of a knit along before I was even pregnant, so I had no idea on sizes. And the booties were too cute not to knit, even though I had a hunch they'd fit him during the height of summer. I'll just have to make some booties in a larger size for him to wear this winter.

jumping back in

Hello there. I feel like I've been away for such a long time. Sure, I've popped into this space every once in a while, but I haven't really sat down and had a good visit. I miss it. I miss interacting with all of you.

These first three months of motherhood have consumed me. I've been completely immersed in the daily happenings of my little guy. He has needed so much of me. I've spent many hours cuddling, nursing (oh, so much nursing!), and making a variety of funny noises to see which ones coax a smile from him. My conversations have revolved around spit up and poop. At the end of each day, I've taken a hot shower and dropped into bed for a few hours of sleep before being roused for a middle-of-the-night feeding.

Suddenly this weekend I felt different. As cheesy as it sounds, I really did feel awakened to the outside world again. I wanted to emerge from the all-consuming baby time and get back out there. I wanted to reconnect with friends and spend time here on the blog with you. So here I am. 

I have a lot to say but of course can't say it all at once. Who has the time? Not me. Anyway, here's a start.

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I quit my job. It felt momentous and awkward. I never quit things, so it took all my guts and many deep breaths to tell my boss that I wasn't coming back. Later I felt a flood of tears, tears of relief, but also of mourning. I grieved for the loss of two stable incomes and the feeling of competence I found in doing something every day that I knew how to do. I had a sense of pride in my work that helped shape my identity. My work certainly didn't define me, but it did form a part of me.

For years I've known that I wanted to stay home for at least my baby's first year. I've also known that it probably wouldn't be financially feasible for our family, and I had come to terms with that. However, when K and I took a good hard look at our budget, we realized we could swing it. Once that dream became a real possibility, though, I got nervous. Having two paychecks means less scrimping and saving and more money for extras like traveling and eating out. Ultimately, K and I decided that fewer monetary worries would mean more emotional worries, and that trade-off wasn't worth it to us. So I traded in my office job, where I knew what the heck I was doing each day, for one that I'm still trying to figure out.

My mom recently asked me how it felt to no longer be working outside the home. And even though I hesitated to leave my job, I've thought about work only a handful of times since I turned in my resignation. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes miss the daily interaction with other adults and having conversations that don't revolve around bodily functions, but my days are so full now that I don't think about the office.

I hope your days are full too, and I hope I'll get to spend much more time visiting with you in the future.

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old man baby pants

 

Old man baby pants make me smile. I hope they do the same for you.

a friend quilt

This handmade quilt has become our downstairs playtime quilt. It's where J spends his time taking in this big world, one room at a time, and where he gets some much-loved tummy time. 

I swear, this kid can't wait to crawl. He lifts himself up and kicks his feet something fierce. After several minutes of not actually going anywhere, he gets tired and sucks his hand. That's pretty much the extent of playtime at five weeks of age. Sometimes we read him a book or attempt to interest him in toys, but generally he's content to lie on his quilt and marvel at all there is to see, such as dust bunnies under the couch and vast expanses of white ceiling (exciting stuff!).  

The quilt was a gift from my longtime blogging friend Amy, who writes the blog During Quiet Time. She's an extraordinary seamstress who makes complicated paper-pieced patterns and screen prints. I love this fun, colorful quilt she made, and I love that it reminds me of her every time we use it. You can see her post about the quilt here. Thanks, Amy!

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{P.S. Jan wrote about the baby gift basket from my previous post and included links to the tutorials she used. It's a great resource if you've got babies to sew for!}

basket of goodies

I promised to show off some of the handmade baby things we've received, so here's a start!

K's aunt Jan (who blogs about her sewing, spinning, and knitting here) sent us a basket full of goodies she sewed just for our little guy. She chose such great colors, too: bright yellow and blue with red accents.

Want to see what's inside?

Appliqued boat towels and a personalized bib, all which look so pretty and pristine. I joked with Jan that the baby will be allowed to use them only when he is clean. ;) And the item at the top that looks like a cute clutch, that's a portable changing pad.

It folds out to the perfect size and even includes a pocket, which will be great for stashing cloth wipes. I've already tucked this into the diaper bag so it's ready to use. 

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I hope you're all doing well! I've been reading your blogs on my phone, but comments take ages to type out on it, so you may find I've been quiet lately. My hope is that once J and I get into a routine I'll have a little time to keep up with blogging and commenting. 

these days

J at three weeks

Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments to welcome our baby! You all are the best! 

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More than three weeks have passed since Baby J entered the world, and it seems that we're just coming up for air. We've been in a fog of newborn busyness: a fog both delightful (tiny toes and fingers to kiss! milky cheeks to cuddle! baby smiles and grimaces to coo over!) and overwhelming (how is he hungry when he just finished eating? he's gone through how many diapers today? why is he crying?).

Each day feels remarkably the same, and with the lack of sleep, my timeline is hopelessly skewed. My husband and I have lost track of when things happened. "When was that?" we ask each other. "One of the days that came before today," has become the reply.

However, we are finally finding a little rhythm to our days and getting more comfortable in our new roles. This week I squeezed in a tiny bit of gardening, bread baking, knitting, and walking. And even though I barely made a dent in the weeds and I'm knitting a sweater that may never fit (what size will my body be come winter?) those moments felt like some of the biggest accomplishments.

My favorite moments of all, though, are holding J for the first time each morning. His chubby body is always still warm from being swaddled, and he looks up at me with the brightest blue eyes. *Swoon*

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P.S. My mom and I made the baby quilt in the photo as our practice quilt. It was the first real quilt for both of us. I received the vintage sheet squares a long time ago from this prolific quilter and had been saving them for just the right project. Also, I still need to take photos of the other quilt my mom and I made and some handmade goodies people made for J. I'll post them soon-ish (on some day that comes after today).

hatched

sweet baby jude

flew into our lives one week ago

a tiny bird at only 5 lbs., 11 oz. and 18 1/2 inches long.

he is now nested cozily with us.

i'm still in awe that this perfect baby is ours, and we are his.

we are so lucky!

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yarn along

Today is my final day of bed rest! I'm looking forward to going for a walk, going upstairs (all my crafting supplies are there), eating at a restaurant (and at a table!), and organizing the nursery. Now the wait is really on for this baby. He could come in a few days or five weeks. But, oh, I really hope it's sooner rather than later.

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I'm participating in the yarn along for the first time in ages. I've been speeding away on the Umaro baby blanket, trying my hardest to finish it before the baby decides to arrive. I think I can manage to finish it by this weekend. I still have to follow along with the pattern on each row, so it isn't the most relaxing knit, but I'm getting faster. I love the classic look of the texture and lace.

And that's a yarn cake I wound with my own swift and yarn ball winder! Such magic!

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I've been reading M.F.K. Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf, a cookbook she wrote during World War II. It's fascinating to read about food economy and rationing during the war and to learn tips for eating well even during hard times. I can't keep my attention focused on a plot for long these days, and this book is great to read in short snippets.

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What are you working on this week?